Apparently I am not considered valuable enough to be chosen for the special project, but twelve from the office were. Some of them people I am so more qualified than. And this is what I find most bothersome.
And yes, I realize how young I am compared to the twelve, who've been with the firm for years, or even decades in a couple of cases, but I've proven myself in the few short months that I've been there.
In the wake of their not choosing me, I thought for a second that I would quit on the spot because of that, but I bore their surprising lack of respect for my abilities as best I could and finished out the day in a bad mood, eating lunch at my desk instead of in the cafeteria, as I was not even in any mood to talk to Ellen.
But as well as we get along, she's never been interested in me as anything but a friend, so it isn't really a loss now is it? Not that I'm ready for something serious, it's just that there is something about her beyond the physical that I could see wanting to have in a wife.
Still, there's years to live before I wish to settle down and years after that before I'll think of marriage, so any woman I meet in the next few years better not be looking for something like that so fast.
Which is a a rather big strike against Ellen, with her being four years older and having a child and an ex husband. So it's good that she hasn't expressed more interest in me because our friendship is mostly satisfying as it is now.
Yes, there's that man part of me that would like to see her naked and feel pressed against my flesh as we enjoyed each other fully. And there's nothing wrong about that.
Damn, now I've stirred myself up thinking about Ellen and need the release of sex or I'll be even more sour when I go to work tomorrow. So what to do?
Should I go for a run, or go out in the hopes of meeting a fine young lady who I might be able to gain my release with? Decisions decisions.
Well, I can't do either in front of the keyboard, so I'll log out here and do one or the other.
See you next time.
October II
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